The Day My 10 year old Decluttered Her Own Room Without Being Asked

My daughter decluttered her room without being asked!

Any of you who know how 10 year olds operate, know this is really saying something! My youngest daughter is a free spirit, who is incredibly creative and imaginative and loves to keep EVERYTHING. I am careful to help teach her how to keep her space tidy in a way that works for her and honors her personality. This is something I’ve struggled with because she is so different from me in how she likes to keep her room. It feels way too cluttered for me, and for a while, I tried to change that and make her room more like mine. But then I realized that it’s not my space and she is entitled to keep it the way she wants…to a point. It needs to be able to be cleaned and kept tidy enough to run a vacuum or dust cloth once in a while. She also cannot keep food or living things in there. Yes, we have certain boundaries! 

The point is, a child’s room is their sanctuary - a place where they can express themselves and I feel she should be able to put her unique spin on how she keeps the space. So I’ve stayed true to that for the school year, and as it comes to an end, things were getting pretty jam-packed in there. In passing, I mentioned that it would be nice for her to be able to use (see) her desk over the summer and have a space to read when she wants quiet time. I told her that at some point this summer she would need to clean it up a bit. Honestly, I said it in passing and can’t even remember when we talked about it.

Fast forward to yesterday. School is winding down and she brought home a big pile of end-of-year stuff. She showed me some of it, and then took it upon herself to recycle the rest. I was kind of blown away with how efficient she was. Then, she went up to her room (WITHOUT BEING ASKED) and spent several hours decluttering it, moving furniture around, and organizing her desk - all while blasting the soundtrack to Hamilton and happily singing along. She was so excited to bring me and my husband up last night to show us her new space. She told me, “Mom, it just feels more like me now.” I am so proud of her. She also mentioned how listening to music makes everything more fun. Is she wise, or what?! I wish I had taken a before picture, but this is a glimpse of her tidied space.

I share this for any parents out there struggling to teach their kids these lessons, because I hear you and agree that it’s challenging. But my daughter’s actions yesterday taught me that our kids are always listening and paying attention to what we model to them. By carefully suggesting things they can do to support themselves and “walking the walk” in our own lives,  rather than ordering them to do things our way, we are able to get through to them more effectively and gently. 

The end of the school year is a great time to declutter and clean out everything that has accumulated all year long. And don’t forget the lunch boxes and backpacks! You do not want a lunch-box-turned-science-experiment sitting there through the hot months of July and August. Consider having a conversation with your kids about it and modeling these lessons for them in your own way. Have a wonderful summer!

For more decluttering inspiration, check out this weeks's episode of the Let's Slow Down Podcast - Making Room to Breathe: Holistic Decluttering.