A Gratitude Mindset

I thought it would be fun to talk about gratitude today. 

An "attitude of gratitude" is the highest way of thinking, according to self-development author Brian Tracy. He says, "by incorporating elements of gratitude into your life, you'll boost your own self-esteem -- and that of others around you."

It can be beautifully contagious! No matter what challenges or obstacles are in your way, there is always something to be grateful for. Many of us have a natural tendency to complain. Honestly, I feel like it’s our default method most of the time. But this "life is so hard, why me" mindset, is detrimental to a person's well-being. 

Instead of complaining, contemplate the things you are grateful for. You can even make a gratitude list or have everyone name something they’re thankful for each night at dinner or bedtime. By focusing on the many blessings in our lives, we can change our mindset and how we see our world. It’s and incredibly simple but powerful tool. Back on Let's Slow Down Podcast, episode 41, my guest was gratitude psychologist Dr. Peggy DeLong. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to her episode this would be a great week to do so. In her book, Feeling Good, she highlights 35 proven ways to happiness, even during tough times.

Today I’d like to focus on a few of my favorite parts of her book and share simple ways Dr. DeLong suggests we can take actionable steps to improve life immediately through gratitude.

Get outside in nature and give thanks to mother nature’s beauty.

I do this every day, even if it’s only for a short time. Dr DeLong reminds us that nature has healing, therapeutic, and creative powers. Spending time looking at awe-inspiring nature has been scientifically proven to stop us from ruminating about our problems and stressors, leading to increased happiness. 

I know I have definitely felt these benefits. I have a busy mind, and sometimes the only way to calm it down is to go for a quiet walk outside. It’s amazing how fast and effective a bit of outside time can be. It’s quick, easy, and free and we can all do it right now if we need to.

Give to others.

I think one of the best ways to truly show appreciation for what we have - time, money, talent - is to share it with others. Dr. DeLong reminds us that “one of the best ways to feel more peace and happiness is to give to others.” She goes on to say that giving to others can be a distraction from our own worries and also a way to realize we’re not alone, especially in life’s struggles. Also, if we are giving to others in a setting that involves being around people either as recipients or collaborators, we also gain the benefits of human connection, which additionally boosts our mood.

I can speak to this one personally. One of the benefits my family and I have had as a result of slowing down to make room for what truly matters to us, is the space to volunteer. We help out with our church’s local food pantry and special needs ministry. These volunteer opportunities warm my heart in a way I cannot put into words. Sometimes I feel I get more than I can ever give, because I leave all our events feeling so happy and fulfilled and connected to the most amazingly genuine people I’ve ever met. For awhile I felt like I didn’t have time to volunteer, because I was running around so much, but I’m truly grateful that I made it a priority and found the time, because it’s made me a better person and helped others in the process. It's one of the many benefits I've gained from slowing down.

Dr. DeLong reminds us that there are many different ways to give. We can give time, resources, love and attention, money or goods. She also says that your way of giving is unique to you, so don’t compare yourself to how others do it. Do what feels good to you. What can you give to make this world and your community a better place?

Develop a Gratitude Mindset.

Dr. DeLong says that practicing gratitude has numerous benefits and is the easiest and most enjoyable way to elevate mood - and not only in the moment. Practicing gratitude regularly provides long term positive effects. It has psychological benefits of expanding happiness, boosting resilience, improving sleep, increasing energy, and more. Suggested ways to practice gratitude are through a gratitude journal or making a conscious intention to focus on this throughout the day. It's the law of attraction at it's finest - when we look for it we’ll see it!

Dr. DeLong has what I consider a little gratitude life hack in her book. She says to simply say ‘thank you’ before getting out of bed. In this small act, we are priming our brains to be more positive because 'thank you' is associated with positivity. She claims if we say a heartfelt ‘thank you’ our brain will take it from there, receiving a dose of feel good neurotransmitters and setting the stage for our brain to notice the good around us. Guys, I’ve tried this, and it works!

Other ways to hone this gratitude mindset are to ask yourself gratitude inspired questions such as, what made me laugh today? or what 10 mins would I like to do over?

Again, by taking some time to reflect and focus on this it’s bringing it to the front of your mind. Another suggestion is to go without something for a week or so to appreciate it more, recall a difficult situation and how you overcame it, be grateful for a special person in your life, and much much more. Seriously, buy this book for such inspiring ideas! 

Do What Makes Your Soul Happy.

Dr. Peggy says one simple way to live a more fulfilling life is to do what bring you joy. This helps combat depression and anxiety and makes stressful situations and life crises more bearable. Find the joy in the everyday! And don’t wait for the weekend, or the holiday, or 'one day'….. Add elements to every part of your regular day to make it better.

Dr. Peggy says some of us show resistance to this….feel we’re too busy, have too many other obligations, or that it’s selfish. This can definitely be me sometime, why do I make it so hard on myself??

She reminds us to get out of our own way and that by doing what brings you joy or makes your soul happy actually makes you the best version of yourself. It makes you a better wife, friend, mother, all of it! All while elevating your mood, which in turn will elevate the mood of those around you. This stuff is works like magic, my friends!

Focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go.

Most of our goals take lots of time and effort and if we only focused on how far we had to go, many of us would and sometimes do get discouraged. We might even give up! Conversely, looking back on how far we have come can serve as motivation, and give us a boost that will help us reach our goals and lead to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction.

Dr. DeLong recommends sitting down and writing out all that you’ve accomplished, big and small, personal and professional and keeping this list somewhere to refer to when you’re feeling down. And for the extra difficult days, try using a mantra to stay focused on the present, such as “find joy in the journey” or “be patient and trust the process”...

There is another great book by Dan Sullivan that focuses on this topic called the Gap to the Gain. Sullivan says

"Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN."

There is so much science out there about this, I find it all fascinating! 

There is a great quote by Mandy Inger saying, “Have gratitude for all that you have, and you can be happy exactly as you are.”

I think this is also a great reminder that we cannot look to external sources for internal happiness. We will not ever find it. We already have everything we need in ourselves to feel fulfilled and whole. In a world that is full of consumerism, we can forget that.

Remember that “things” won’t make you happy, won’t fix problems, won’t change anything at all for you on the inside. You can’t buy the important stuff. 

Louisa May Alcott says “the power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely.”

I think that’s a perfect way to wrap up today. I want to express my deepest gratitude to all of you, who have humbled and inspired me to persist on this podcasting, blogging, and life journey of slowing down to live with simplicity and intention. 

Wishing you the happiest home and loveliest life today and always.